Buy This Introverted Book or the Kids Get It (and BTW, my book, “Privilege of Parenting,” is not the same as my blog)

April 11, 2012

To my regular readers I apologize for a post about what you already know.  I truly love and appreciate my blogging community, but I realize that there are those with whom I chat and cross-read posts, and there are those who happen upon this site when searching for information about how to help a child or troubleshoot parenting.  This post is for you, the readers who don’t know me, but who are trying to do better with your child.

I started blogging after I had written a parenting book, and after I got a wonderful agent, and after several major publishing houses claimed that they loved my book (one editor said that it was the only book proposal she’d read that made her cry), and after those very houses sadly passed on publishing my book because I lacked a “big profile.”  In plain speak, I’m not a celebrity or a media-psychologist and the market for parenting books is considered over-crowded.

Plus, I wrote my book as something of an anti-expert, anti-parenting industry tome… something that would offer authentic help at a price rather than stir fear and controversy to sell books.  And now thanks to Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, I realize that I, and my book, are introverted.  Therefore I need to make myself a little more clear if I hope to share my hard-work, carefully considered, designed to truly help others.  I’m not going to get louder, instead I’m going to quietly ask you to seriously consider reading my book if you want to be a better parent, and to help me “promote” the book to people who might benefit (if anyone comes to mind, particularly introverts, or parents of introverts or kids who are having a hard go of it these days in a loud, aggressive and competitive world).

I write this post to “explain” my book.  Because it is called Privilege of Parenting I realize that readers who do not know me might well assume that since my blog and my book have the same title, that the book would be a compilation of blog posts.  It is not.

Every post in my archives is fresh material crafted for this blog, but the book is an entirely different animal, more of a curriculum to encourage the re-thinking of parenting as a spiritual path.  Something like yoga, but perhaps less crunchy.

My grandmother much admired a philosopher named Martin Buber.  I didn’t get around to reading him until long after my Buby was dead, and he’s not an easy read, but I later realized that my Buby had lived his core message and had wrapped me in it when she held me in her arms and in her heart and mind:  life is about relating, soul-to-soul.  The rest is just so much chatter and transient melancholy emptiness.

Privilege of Parenting is inspired by this sort of soul-to-soul relating, seeing it as the very heart of parenting and of all manifestations of Love.  What matters is not so much what a book, or a person, says as how books and people make us feel.

We want to be the sort of parents who go beyond simply loving and disciplining our children (we all love our kids and do our best) to somehow manage to understand and attune with our kids so that they actually feel loved.

Feeling loved hinges on being accurately understood, which is why Privilege of Parenting works to offer deeper and more authentic insight into children and relationships in the hopes that with better understanding we will be more patient and effective in conveying our love—and we will feel more connected, happy and successful in our parenting and relating.

Privilege of Parenting is not about “raising winners,” or about exactly what to do at every step of the way (like What to Expect when… fill in the blank, make an Ap, plug in the answer).  Instead it is a book that offers a relationship with you, the reader, so that a certain sort of relating might ripple out to your child or children.

You know you love your kid(s), but if they are scared, angry, suffering low self-esteem, etc. then somehow they do not yet (or consistently, or at the present moment) feel truly, deeply and safely loved enough to be free, playful, risk-taking, social and engaged with others and the world.  This is healed by relationship, not by advice.

What I lack in slick marketing strategy I compensate for in authenticity and craft.  I realize that in a world of strip malls and chains I’m running a small publishing business.  I hired a single mom as my editor, I hired a mom-blogger who I met in this bloggy world as my designer (of book and blog).

While the book is at Amazon, and I’m working on getting it to Barnes and Noble, (and perhaps I shall write in the future about the journey of self-publishing and the jungle in which one finds the Amazon, like it or not) I am really seeking relationship directly with parents to support and encourage the good of all of our collective children.

Finally, I offer a link to the Table of Contents of my book in order to illustrate the key issues that are explored, including self-esteem, depression, anxiety, oppositionality, intuition and, ultimately, re-framing parenting itself as a spiritual path (as opposed to religious paths that may no longer work for many of us, or at least be less than enough to get us where we truly want to go).  The book offers many stories of kids from group homes to the lap of luxury and everything in between and it offers many practical exercises to help put new learning into pragmatic practice.  Ultimately, I am telling you this for the same reason I wrote the book—to offer sincere love and help, and because no one else is going to tell you about this book (there’s just not enough money in this to interest “big” voices; this should be all the more reason for the discerning reader to give it a chance).

Click to read:  “Privilege of Parenting” Table of Contents

If you want to buy the book, please CLICK HERE to purchase at Amazon, and/or if you have questions send me an email (right hand side of this blog @ “contact Bruce”) and we’ll chat.

And if not, that’s cool too—thanks for considering and All Good Wishes for you, your parenting and All Our Collective Children.

And if any of my faithful readers (especially of the book) care to forward this post to those they believe might like the book, if only they ever heard of it, please be part of our rising tide of:  Buy Introverted

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura Plumb April 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

What an honest, thoughtful, sweet invitation to your way of seeing things. I am especially touched by the wisdom and love of your Grandmother, as remembering our “Grandmothers’ Wisdom” is such a theme in my own life.

I love the “new” take on introverts as self-referential, self-reliant, self-sustaining, so yes, let’s raise the tide, Buy Introverted, and all get your book – quick before the kids are grown!


Bruce April 11, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Hi Laura, Thank you so much for these kind words. Together in the love of our grandmothers’ arms and cooking, perhaps we will make our way toward a life well-lived for all of us, and all our collective children. With Gratitude & All Good Wishes


Kristen @ Motherese April 11, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Just saying hi as a fan of both blog and book.

Introverts unite!


Bruce April 11, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And so very much appreciated, Kristen.

Here’s to the quietest of clarion calls :)


Katrina Kenison April 12, 2012 at 8:47 am

“This is healed by relationship, not advice.” May we all tattoo these words on our palms, especially those of us with great big kids, whose faces go blank the moment the phrase “you should” leaves a parent’s lips. Count on me to spread the word. Crawling to my own introverted finish line here, and am so looking forward to rejoining the world, if only online, from the privacy of my kitchen. . .Great post, great book, and I will forward to friends.


Bruce April 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Sending you quiet cheering and virtual oranges as you make it to introverted finish line. And much gratitude too, Namaste


Laurie April 12, 2012 at 9:23 am

Bruce it may be too extrovert but perhaps a FB “like” button. I would like you over and over : )


Bruce April 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Hi Laurie, Not too extrovert, but a bit technical… I’ve got a call into North Korea for help on the FB button :)


rebecca @ altared spaces April 12, 2012 at 2:35 pm

“This is healed by relationship, not by advice.” This, to me, feels like the core of your message, both book and blog. I am a huge fan and, when I get a chance to introduce you publicly, I will not be introverted or shy about singing your praises. Relationship outshines advice every time.


Bruce April 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

To me, this is the essence of our rising consciousness—thank you for including me, as our community of kindred spirits, spoken and silent, warms my heart and lifts my spirits, perhaps marking a rising tide of connection born of introversion, sensitivity and authenticity that lifts all the boats, introverted and extraverted alike. Namaste


Lisa April 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Bruce, I love how you had the courage to write this — how, I am assuming this is true for you as well — you listened to an inner prompting to share your truth. In doing so, again, you bring such authenticity to your work and words. This gives readers even a deeper glimpse into the soul of your work…and your parenting. The authenticity with which you write is admirable. Yes, there are some parenting experts and “big name” ones who don’t practice what they preach. It is apparent that you embody and embrace what you write about. Blessings to you, Lisa


Bruce April 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Hi Lisa, Thank you so much for these kind and encouraging words. Perhaps it is in our connections, and our love for each other, all our kids and our world, that we find a sort of wobbly and tentative courage that might grow more resolute through deepening connections and rising consciousness. All Best Wishes


Pamela April 16, 2012 at 5:09 am

Love love love your book!!!! I am both introvert and extrovert and am so proud of you for wanting the book to be successful so that we have more successful families. Xoxo


Bruce April 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Thank you soooo much, Pamela. Yes, I’m wanting the best for all our families, all our kids—for the realization that we’re all family, and that we can become a more functional one at that. XO Namaste


gunta April 20, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Bruce, would it be possible to have your book available on as well? I can always order from, of course, though it would be cool to have your book in Europe, too, and spread the word. I intend to leave feedback! I°ve decided on a birthday gift for myself ;)


Bruce April 20, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Hi Gunta, I thought I did check UK on my Amazon set-up, at least for the Kindle (but Amazon’s a confusing jungle); mostly I’m just thrilled that you’d like to get the book on any continent :)

One of my fantasies is justifying a trip to the UK on the pretext of talking about Privilege of Parenting. Until then, I certainly wish you a very Happy Birthday


gunta April 21, 2012 at 4:51 am

Thank you, I love birthdays.
The Kindle version is available through, but only for UK readers (default for Kindle on that site). The rest of Europe are left surviving without your wisdom ;) I’m in Finland. Off to


Bruce April 21, 2012 at 6:47 am

How fun to imagine my book traveling to Finland—I myself was once there and loved it, particularly watching the sun not set on the summer solstice at a film festival in Sodankyla. Hoping this will be a great year for you and for all of our collective efforts at parenting.


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