Full Circle Solstice

Well, happy summer solstice, again.

Hello, again.  Good-bye, again.

Go. Dog. Go, again.

How can I begin to say what I really mean?

How can I convey the love I feel for you, and for us and for our world?

I may have failed to tame my ego, heal my narcissism and more fully place my self in proper service to the Self and our collective SELF (although I like to think I’ve made a little progress this year), I have certainly failed to become any sort of perfect parent (not that this was ever the goal).

But I have treasured a year; and in working hard, I have made a difference—to myself.  I do know that I have also made a difference to some others, and I choose to not be coy and pretend I am unaware of this and the many kind and encouraging comments I have deeply appreciated along the way.

I have sought to give, but I have received much in the bargain—age-old wisdom proving true personally and viscerally that it is good to give, that it is through what we give that we find connection, relationship and happiness (and that “giving” can be attention, presence, affection, patience, even just thoughts).

I have apportioned time to blogging, time disconnected from Andy and Nate and Will (thanks to you guys for weathering my self-imposed year of blogging mindfully, too often at your expense).  So, now it is time to follow Kristen’s example and “buffer.”

Only connect.  This is what I have learned from Forster via Andy, and what I have striven to write and live (the challenge about connecting proves to be:  how much and with who?).  Moving forward I hope to continue to only connect, but in balance, connecting virtually, actually and internally with the spirits and the muses.

In my first year of blogging I was a writer as attachment parent—holding a mirror to my blog’s baby mouth (and to all of you) on a consistent basis, sometimes to see if the blog was still breathing—checking in every day, nay, often every hour (are there comments?).

I learned to move from Aspergers-like relating (leaving comments to just hang there) to responding (some blog-version of learning to make eye contact, to interact, to trust that virtual or not, it’s all about relationships).  I learned to read others’ blogs, to comment, hopefully in a real way and not just a “great post” so now read my post way.

This has been fun, and it has been exhausting.  My plan is to give my readers some space, some trust that a daily post (by me) is not needed.  And if you think you will miss a daily post, search amongst my fellow bloggers and find those resplendent voices you want to deepen connection with (even just in reading silently and not commenting).

The epitome of what I wish to say about blogging was probably said in a guest blog, the Virtual Salon—amongst the comments there you will find what I think of as my tribe in the blogging world.  And from them (and their links, blog rolls, comments) you will find a wonderful tapestry of choices, voices, souls and spirits.

In the alternate, by having blogged every day for a year, you can always go and see what I was talking about last year on any given day.  Synchronicities unforeseen are certain to abound (and I would welcome comments on those old posts).

To reiterate where we began, last June 21st, this blog has been about supporting each other to connect, grow and be our best Selves as “parents” (insofar as caring about things is “parenting”) in the service not just of our “children” (i.e. those humans, animals, plants and objects in our care) but in the service of all our collective children.

As to where things go from here, I am committing to do my level best to post at least one time per week.  I will post on Wednesdays.  In French this is Mercredi, which is Mercury’s day—a propitious day for mercurial musings, for artisan work and boundary crossings.  Hermes is another name for Mercury, and so we will continue to strive to Hermetically hold the opposites, to invite divine spirit and greater life and love into this ongoing endeavor.  Wednesday is also “business time,” and we all know what that means.

Just as Gertrude Stein narrowed her Salon to Sundays because things were getting to be a bit much for her, I volunteer make my turn to host the Virtual Salon (more an atelier than a Salon, but please do drop in) be on Wednesdays, while I look forward to rolling around blog-town and dropping in on you guys all sorts of days (although I think, like Kristen, I shall follow her lead and go for unplugged weekends, honoring the caesura of repose, a secular Sabbath that yet hopes to coax the sacred more fully into my own home and garden).

As for what may lie ahead, I have a sea of ideas both inspiring and at the same time threatening to drown me.  In the year ahead I hope to “publish” my parenting book (stay tuned for information on how that may become available), I hope to work on what may be a work of fiction (a thicket really, from which I cannot quite emerge nor can I seem to get a grasp on how to capture or convey it… but that’s what creative process is for).

Thus I commit to create within reason (regarding time) but far outside of reason (regarding themes); even if I’m not posting all my strange ramblings, I hope that the time will come when I can share my wider-ranging work with you once again.  I do hope that we are in a mutually creative process and that our different ways we express our creativity can cross-encourage, cross-embolden and serve as some sort of virtual artists’ colony.

Parenting is an art, but so is writing, relating, cooking and a host of other activities and media.  Ultimately, I’m not sure where I’m going—and that very lostness at least leaves open the possibility of authenticity, exploration and interesting uncertainty.

I wrote my book, The Privilege of Parenting, before I was a blogger, but blogging has only deepened my belief that the book can be of use to at least a small niche of readers—those who are fed up with self-help, with the crumbling anxiety-fueled nonsense that parents need to be taught how to be parents by experts.  My book is more about an attempt to convey love, support and insight; an attempt to conjure some sort of magic to help us connect, grow and heal by taking more sincere interest in the collective situation of our kids and our world through getting it right in our own families.  It is a re-thinking of parenting itself as both a spiritual path and a path toward that ever elusive happiness in the eternal moment of the eternal now.  This blog carries my spirit, especially about connecting (which I am not going to relinquish, it means too much to me); the book lays out my thinking in an organized manner (no easy task for my mind which is more a wild bramble than an ordered library).  I hope that you will consider checking it out when the time comes.

Meanwhile, I welcome hearing from you (via comments here or email: poptheworld at att.net) if anything is on your mind.  I particularly welcome dreams, especially if they feel like “big dreams,” that relate to our collective situation.

Recently a dear friend sent me a lovely note, amongst other things appreciating my blogging efforts.  His words included some T.S. Eliot (quoting Julian of Norwich, an English mystic and woman who wrote in the thirteenth century), words that say quite a lot of what I feel:

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Through the unknown, remembered gate

When the last of earth left to discover

Is that which was the beginning;

At the source of the longest river

The voice of the hidden waterfall

And the children in the apple-tree

Not known, because not looked for

But heard, half-heard, in the stillness

Between two waves of the sea.

Quick now, here, now, always—

A condition of complete simplicity

(Costing not less than everything)

And all shall be well and

All manner of thing shall be well

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the fire and the rose are one.

*

So, thanks for reading and for connecting with me this year that I will always remember, please come along with me this next wheel of our loop around the sun, striving to abide and create and love together in compassion and authenticity—in the service of each other and all our collective children.

Namaste (and with much heart-felt and soul-felt Love), Bruce

See ya’ Wednesday