Great art is driven by questions more than answers, and so is great parenting. In that spirit, I pose a question to all who have clicked their way to these words:
What is it that gets in the way of you being your best Self as a parent?
Also, what questions, or conflicts, continually arise in your relationship with your child that you have not yet been able to successfully work out?
Another Question: What would your Truly Helpful, perhaps even Magical, Parenting Book be about?
Further, if you have any notions about what might help you to more consistently be your most compassionate, patient and loving, as well as elegantly limit-setting, Self as a parent, please say so (i.e. being more understood, more time, more money—let’s see what we feel we are missing). At the very least we can muster collective good wishes, as I have seen that there is much power them!
Perhaps in our community we will find that between us, we already have what we need.
Finally, I would be completely remiss if I did not fess up at the absolute beginning of this blog that while in my office I may be a “parenting expert,” the truth is that my wife is a much better parent than I am. Her ideas, her spirit and her lived example infuse and inform this blog. My parenting journey is non-existent without her, and I seek to bring via words, what she brings so well without them!
Again, Welcome & Namaste, Bruce
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
In my truly helpful parenting book…consistency and repetition are key and sometimes oh, so boring so find the zen and love where you can.
Hmm – the magical parenting book would have the answer for when my fuse is short, my kid is saying no, and the clock is ticking towards an imminent business meeting. It’s’ an interesting part of community to be a mom, and sometimes want to talk parenting, but to run up against crucial differences – for example, having to deal with deadlines and talking with a mom who doesn’t work. She may have her own deadlines – but I start to self censor. There’s also the feeling that any struggles with kids can’t be talked about in community – for two reasons – I want to appear my best parenting self to other parents, especially since I want them to be comfortable to leave their kids with me so my son can have play dates with who ever he chooses – and secondly, often when I’m with other parents, the kids are in ear shot, so it’s not a good time to talk about things.
Then there is the flip side, like being out with a family where one of the parents (in this case the father) is just being SO harsh and mean with his kid that I feel really uncomfortable. There is a real taboo against saying anything about it – so the result is, it seems, the folks who might benefit the most from being around different parenting styles are often on their own…..
Dr. Dolin, what are your thoughts and suggestions?
Best,
Stephanie mother of 6 year old boy.