Monday’s child is fair of face. Thus to a loving parent who is in a relatively decent mood, every child is Monday’s child. And on those days when our child puts on his or her “wolf-suit,” to reference Max and “Where the Wild Things Are,” we have to work a little harder to get back to seeing their inner Monday.
Seeing beauty is an important aspect of successful parenting, and it helps us have beautiful lives. After all, if parenting doesn’t get us to romanticize life a little bit, than what will?
As a therapist I have learned the value of striving to create a place of non-judgment. Whether with children or adults, an attitude of sincere interest and safety to express all feelings, ironically creates ideal conditions for seeing beauty. True seeing tends to create trust and facilitate authentic intimacy, factors that seem to coax beauty out into plain view.
The judging mind is a critical mind, deciding what is pleasing and what is not, what is good, attractive or valued and what is bad, ugly and devalued. Oscar Wilde said that if someone hasn’t seen the beauty in something they have not seen that thing.
And while our children are great, and often demanding, teachers, when we fail to see their beauty, when we are thinking about the ways that they need to change in order to be presentable or successful, we are quite likely missing them and reinforcing low-self-esteem. If educate means “to draw knowledge out,” perhaps beautify means to draw beauty out—and our best tool for beautification is a compassionate and non-judging seeing of what simply is—in our children and in the world in general.
So, let’s dedicate Monday to seeing the Monday’s child in our world and all its collective children.
Namaste, Bruce
